Modesty vs. Dignity

Jules from Everyday Mommy has started a Moms for Modesty group/campaign encouraging moms of girls to support retailers that sell non-hoochie (my terminology) clothing and to instill positive, healthy body/self images in their little ladies.

I think this is fantastical.  Although the munchkin is not even 2 months old, I've already had an eyeful of 'novelty' sayings found on t-shirts ('Hot Stuff', 'Big Flirt', etc.) and rolled my eyes at the fact that they sell low-cut bikinis and other ridiculousness for toddlers.  Shameful.

It is so important to me that Ella grow up to be the beautiful, grounded, intelligent young lady that I just know she is destined to be without all of the baggage that comes with conforming to our warped society's standards. 

We can help her get there by encouraging her to truly be her own unique self without giving a second thought to what the (bizarrely homo-erotic) Abercrombie ads and paper-thin Photoshopped Maxim models are trying to hawk.

However, deep down inside of me I have a problem with the term 'modesty'.  It makes me think of those Mormon girls who never cut their hair and wear sneakers with ankle length denim skirts.  It wasn't until I read this post that I understood what I was really thinking:

"The problem with talk of "modesty" is the underlying implication, even if sometimes unintentional, that feminine beauty is shameful.....  it isn't "modesty" we need to teach our girls, but dignity. We do not need to imply that their bodies are shameful and must be hidden, or that they are responsible for burdens that no one could ever carry. I will teach my girls, to the best of my ability, that they are valuable and beautiful, that their choice in clothing should reflect a confidence in their own value and beauty and not the desperate shout, "Look! Girl parts!" I want to teach them to rebel against the exploitive, rich manufacturers who decide what trashy outfit they want to see little girls wear and then make it. I want my daughters to dress for beauty without accepting our society's insistence that a woman's value lies in her sexual desirability. I want my daughters to know, deep down, unassailable, that they deserve respect from men, and I want them to refuse to tolerate anything less."

My goal as a new mommy is to be sure that Ella-baby grows up loving herself, loving her body, loving her mind, loving her soul and never accepting anything less from anyone else.  Key terms here:  Love. Dignity. Respect. Modesty (not the ankle-length skirt, sneaker wearing kind).

Comments

[Paloma]

Amen, sistah! Ella's in great hands with such a conscious mommy.

[veronica]

Thanks for the link. It is great to see another mom thinking through these difficult issues.

And Ella is a beautiful name.